music is my happiness

Hey I'm Alex. Music is my release in life, and I enjoy rocking out to some hard rock, as well as dancing away any troubles. It's also pretty nice to play music as well. I love being a Hawkeye. Go Hawks! Gotta love life. Enjoy yours, too!

September 17, 2014 11:47 pm

Ok. It’s fine. Don’t respond to any of my texts even though I see you attached to your phone constantly

September 7, 2014 1:23 pm

OMG it doesn’t get any better. It hasn’t gotten any easier. He just left and I can’t stop crying my eyes out. This just isn’t fair

September 3, 2014 8:03 pm

I’m jealous

Of these engagements

OMG
Stop haha

August 30, 2014 12:57 am

Feeling very lonely right now

I miss him so much right now. This sucks. I feel out of place everywhere because I’m in a different stage of my life compared to literally everyone. I’m still in band so that makes me different than all but one pharmacy student. I’m still different there because it seems like I plan ahead way more than she does. I’m also older. Then, there are the band people. I’m not an undergrad anymore. Most of them, besides like 3 other people, are undergrads. I have the tuition to prove that I’m not. And it’s annoying that people don’t seem to see the importance or difference or necessity to refer to me as a 4th year or P1. I’m not a senior. Period. Why do I keep getting grouped like that and then I look like a bitch if I correct them?

To top it all off, the person who made everything better and made me feel like I could be welcomed anywhere no matter what, the person who majorly helped me increased my confidence, the person who makes me feel unstoppable, and the person I love so much, is not there every night anymore. I miss him so much. It’s the first time I’ve cried since Sunday. But I really miss him. I thought band could help keep my
Mind off of all the changes and it only works to an extent. I just miss him! Ugh

August 24, 2014 9:03 am

This morning is rough

We’ve never gone more than a week without seeing each other. We will be going 2 weeks this time. He just left and I’m already crying. I feel like a part of me is gone. This is going to be a rough couple of years…. I just need a hug and no one is awake and the one I usually go to for hugs is driving home right now. Having him visit was absolutely amazing, but it hurts just as much as it did the first time when I left home as it does this time when he left. This sucks.

August 20, 2014 1:45 am

The way life is

Here I am over her crying my eyes out every day because I miss my amazing
Boyfriend being here with me… When I’ve had friends lose a parent recently. I feel like I’m not supposed to be this upset because it’s not the same. I just function differently I guess. I have a lot of anxiety that is getting harder to control. I can’t keep thinking that I didn’t actually lose Brian so I can’t justify being upset. Everyone deals with things differently and this is something I’m having a hard time dealing with. I wish I could help those friends who have lost family. I just don’t know what to do besides be the for them, and I should focus on the fact that our situations different and should not be compared.

Miss you Brian


At leash we’ve talked on the phone plenty of times and will again tomorrow andddd hell week will keep my mind off of it.

Love you Brian! ❤️

August 18, 2014 3:12 pm

I can’t believe I’m here and you’re not. This is too different for me. I miss you already

12:04 am
It’s not goodbye… Because I’ll see you soon. ❤️ 6 days until I can see you for a bit for my white coat ceremony. I cannot wait to be in your arms again. I know 6 days doesn’t seem so long, thankfully, but it’s the fact that we will be in different states now for most of the year, and for (at least) the next three years. If we can do this, we can do anything. My mom even said that this is the first day of both of us doing what will make us successfully later on and that we can both do this. She doesn’t always make sense when she says these things, but this time she did. I believe her. I hope I can hold it together, but I know you’ll always be there (even if you’re not physically there next to me). This year is going to be extremely hard but I’ll try to stay focused on the light at the end of the tunnel, where I can be done and be home here permanently and can see you all the time again. ❤️ I can’t wait  

I love you Brian! You mean everything to me ❤️

It’s not goodbye… Because I’ll see you soon. ❤️ 6 days until I can see you for a bit for my white coat ceremony. I cannot wait to be in your arms again. I know 6 days doesn’t seem so long, thankfully, but it’s the fact that we will be in different states now for most of the year, and for (at least) the next three years. If we can do this, we can do anything. My mom even said that this is the first day of both of us doing what will make us successfully later on and that we can both do this. She doesn’t always make sense when she says these things, but this time she did. I believe her. I hope I can hold it together, but I know you’ll always be there (even if you’re not physically there next to me). This year is going to be extremely hard but I’ll try to stay focused on the light at the end of the tunnel, where I can be done and be home here permanently and can see you all the time again. ❤️ I can’t wait

I love you Brian! You mean everything to me ❤️

August 15, 2014 12:16 am

Me rambling… Why is it so hard to handle?

Each year or time I go back to school, it gets harder and harder. What held me together was knowing that my other half was going to be there with me. He’s my rock. I never knew I could love, appreciate, and depend on someone this much. I’m starting pharmacy school and he is student teaching this semester at home. This year is that much harder to think about going back. Some people might think I’m crazy. Some people might think I have some major issues. However, if you knew how much I hate change AND how much this guy means to me, maybe you could understand. My rock will be at home this year. This will be the longest we have ever been apart. My question is…… Why am I like this? What makes me able to justify me crying every time I think about leaving home with him and my family behind? There are so many people who are in long distance relationships and they are just fine. And it’s not like I’m afraid something will happen to US. I’m afraid of ME. I’m afraid of how I handle this. I’m afraid that people will just think I’m crazy and brush me off because I’m not a special case. I’m not the first one to go through a situation just like this. We knew this was coming eventually… But I just can’t believe it’s here. Everyone can argue that their relationship is special and that it is hard for anyone, but I’m not just anyone. I hate change. When I form a bond with someone or ACTUALLY let my guard down to trust them, it’s a big deal. He means so much to me. I’m gonna be honest and say that I know I want to marry this guy. He’s incredible. However, I know people who are living apart and they’re married (deployment or schooling or other various reasons), so again, how am I able to justify this? What do I do now? How do I cope? I’m currently trying to continually tell myself that I am ok. I also decided to just start typing out my feelings on here. I’m actually calming down. Maybe this will help? Maybe tumblr might become a space for me to vent and explain without me getting so upset that my nasal passages swell shut (worry… Future pharmacist here… I talk nerdy). I might potentially be on here more, talking about my new life. It’s funny because I’m going back to Iowa City, to the same house with the same roommates, and I have essentially the same friends. However, the two changes are major and it’s a big deal…. starting pharmacy school AND not having my rock there to hold me together. I just have to remember that we are both in a place where we are trying to make a better future for ourselves, and even is as a couple. I need to remember that I have to figure out how to handle this because it’s happening regardless. I also need to continually tell myself that I am in fact ok, and maybe I’ll begin to believe it eventually.

(I love you Brian and I’m so proud of you.)

July 16, 2014 5:16 pm

hotboysofficial:

when questions contains the answers to a different problem on a test 

image

(Source: hotboysofficial, via orgasm)

July 15, 2014 12:09 am

french:

dandilionstarcat:

wolffieworldorder:

*british person voice* “americans drive on the wrong side of the road”

image

really? because the majority of the world seems to disagree

finally america didnt fuck something up and call it good.

yeah. we literally drive on the right side of the road

12:08 am 12:07 am

heliolisk:

Its not really summer unless the radio has found 2-3 songs to overplay the shit out of

(via french)

12:07 am 12:06 am

caseyanthonyofficial:

Why do people never want to tell you their middle name like who gives a shit its not a nuclear launch code its your damn name

(via orgasm)